“There are only four kinds of people in the world—those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, those who will need caregiving,” were the remarks of a former first lady when asked about compassion. A hurting person goes through a series of low valleys and high peaks. The best caregivers are the people who don’t get too angry, upset, or even overly happy while helping.
A former patient described his feelings when he first had cancer. He just wanted to be around people who would look past his illness and treat him normally. His caregivers drove him to chemotherapy treatments, cooked him meals, teased him, called to chat about anything but cancer, and sat with him at football games. Caregivers ask doctor’s intelligent questions, act as advocates without being overly demanding, and focus on the person not their problem. Here are some caregiving Dos and Don’ts:
- Do try to be calm and steady.
- Don’t fear silence.
- Do take cues from the person you’re helping.
- Don’t tell horror stories.
- Do remember who the person was before they had their problem.
- Don’t forget small gestures.
- Do be specific with offers of help.
- Don’t push too hard.
The Virginia Tech football coach, Frank Beamer, described the ultimate in care giving—the aftermath of the VT tragedy. He was preparing to see the victim’s families, and he was speechless. A nearby minister suggested, “Just tell them that you care.” Coach Beamer’s subsequent thoughts are applicable to all caregivers regardless of the severity of the one hurting. “. . . we’re going to get through it. It’s not going to be easy . . . We’re going to have to hang in there together, be closer together, depend on each other and lean on each other a little more, but we’re going to get through this thing.” John Wesley advised caregivers, “Do all the good you can, by all means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all times you can, to all the people you can and as long as you can.”
been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be
caregivers, those who will need caregiving,” were the remarks of a former
first lady when asked about compassion. A hurting person goes through a
series of low valleys and high peaks. The best caregivers are the people
who don’t get too angry, upset, or even overly happy while helping.
A former patient described his feelings when he first had cancer. He
just wanted to be around people who would look past his illness and treat
him normally. His caregivers drove him to chemotherapy treatments,
cooked him meals, teased him, called to chat about anything but cancer,
and sat with him at football games. Caregivers ask doctor’s intelligent
questions, act as advocates without being overly demanding, and focus on
the person not their problem. Here are some caregiving Dos and Don’ts:
Do try to be calm and steady.
Don’t fear silence.
Do take cues from the person you’re helping.
Don’t tell horror stories.
Do remember who the person was before they had their problem.
Don’t forget small gestures.
Do be specific with offers of help.
Don’t push too hard.
The Virginia Tech football coach, Frank Beamer, described the ultimate
in care giving—the aftermath of the VT tragedy. He was preparing
to see the victim’s families, and he was speechless. A nearby minister suggested,
“Just tell them that you care.” Coach Beamer’s subsequent thoughts
are applicable to all caregivers regardless of the severity of the one hurting.
“. . . we’re going to get through it. It’s not going to be easy . . . We’re going
to have to hang in there together, be closer together, depend on each
other and lean on each other a little more, but we’re going to get through
this thing.” John Wesley advised caregivers, “Do all the good you can, by
all means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all
times you can, to all the people you can and as long as you can.”
