(This is the fourteenth article in a series of articles for The Crier regarding grief by Carl Douglas)
"I want to know, where was God when my son was being killed?" An angry father, whose only son was killed in World War II, threw the question at a visiting minister. The minister thought and softly replied, "I guess he was where he was while his Boy was being killed." John Claypool, a Baptist Pastor, relates this incident about the death of his ten-year old daughter, Laura Lue, to leukemia. Claypool was almost shattered by his tragedy. He finally concluded that his daughter was a gift, something he neither earned nor deserved. He decided the appropriate response to a gift, even when it is taken away, is gratitude. He tried to focus on the wonder that Laura Lue was given to him and his wife at all. In a broader sense, Claypool decided that many of the things we have do not belong to us in the first place—they are gifts.
Claypool’s grief was more intense than we normally experience in our everyday lives. Here are five practical guidelines that are helpful to survive the loss of anything of value to us:
First, put it on the list. If something needs to be done or taken care of, put it on God’s to-do-list. Let God be the one to take care of the problem. Second, quit worrying and leave it alone. Life has dealt us a blow. Have we forgotten that He can carry all of our burdens? Leave our problems with him, and let him do the job. My wife posted this notice in our kitchen many years ago: "Good Morning, This is God! I will be handling all of your problems today. I will not need your help—so have a good day." Third, talk to God. Include him in the things going on in our lives. Simply have a conversation with him. He wants to be our dearest friend. Fourth, share and be kind. Share—our joy, laughter, tears, and faith—with those less fortunate than ourselves. Be kind to others. They may not dress, talk, or live the same way we do. Know that He loves each of our differences. Lastly, love yourself. We were created by him for only one reason—to be loved and to love in return. His heart aches when He sees us so angry when things go wrong. When life gets difficult, apply these five guidelines
Carl Douglas